Thursday 25th March 2021

Sometimes, things take us by surprise.

And then, looking back we can see there were signs.

Anyway, during the audit I ended up shouting at someone from where we were auditing. And although that isn't the whole story, what I did was unprofessional.

Not just shouting, but later described as agressive. And if I am honest, I was very angry, my hands were shaking.

And I didn't realise it.

Until later, when someone called me to ask if I was OK. I had forgotten the incident, and then I began to think that my attitude to work has changed, months of frustration and IT failures, coupled with by bad shoulder causing me to sleep poorly and then COVID, lockdowns an all on top of that.

Well, Afterwards I thought about it and thought that ploughing on is no good, next week is a short week, so either take holiday or as sick.

A plan formed.

I would work as normal on Friday, and then have ten days off until after Easter.

Job done.

Makes you think though.

And before that, that morning and all week, I thought things were improving. Getting better, a war forward, which shows what I know to be honest.

We did the usual stuff in the morning, then Jools leaves for work, I put out the bins and have breakfast before being ready for work at eight.

Meetings, there are always meetings, starting at seven and then with just a ten minute break, straight into the audit.

During which I shout.

And get angry.

Once that finishes, I go out for a walk, to unwind and drown in my thoughts. But a walk outside is always good.

It is spring. And its even official.

A few more plants flowering now, and all else is showing bright green fresh growth.

It seems a time for optimism, so I am.

Across the fields to Fleet House, past the pig's copse, (still no pigs) then up to Windy Ridge, I see a fresh Peacock butterfly and snap it.

And back down Collingwood to home and for a fresh brew, and back to work.

But that morning, Jools had had a ton of gravel delivered, and what was needed was some old fashioned manual labour to clear my head. The gravel was delivered in a large bag, which had been left on the drive, and now the gravel had to make it to the bottom of the garden to Jools' new work area.

So I grab the barrow, a spade, and began to shovel, loading the barrow up and totter up and down the garden nine ties, with a break between each three trips to let my back calm down.

I guess I had done a third of the bag by the end, but dinner needed preparing, and in a twist to the usual, I make courgette fritters with korma powder rather than cayanne pepper as we had run out of the latter.

I mix and grate and mix some more and it is done, until Jools returned from the office, just as dusk was falling..

I fry the fritters, and straight away it tastes like some Indian street food might, I guess. But once cooked and dipped in garlic mayo they were really good indeed.

And for the evening, there was England playing the might of San Marino at an empty Wembley, where the three (young) lions knock in five, and should have had twenty, really. But was was the point.

By the time the game ended at half nine, I was shattered, so climbed the stairs, wearily.