Waiting for Death

One of the things I did not write about last week was the illness of my friend's Father. Andrew's Dad had been ill since he fell down the stairs on New Years Eve, and for a while it looked like he was going to be ok.

But, infection set in, his body swelled, and the pain came. He left the hospital just the once, and that lasted for a day before he was rushed back in. There were times when it seemed all was fine, indeed on Thursday he did seem better. And then came the call Fiday morning; prepare for the worst.And then the real waiting began.

Although Bob said he wanted to go, he kept on fighting, right through Saturday and then on into Sunday.Andew and his sister went every day to sit with him; a scene I am sure is repeated every day. And each night they went back to Bob's little terraced home to wait some more. They sat in silence, just the noise of the television to break the silence.

The call came at half two this morning; Bob had slipped away; alone and almost un-noticed. Now comes the activity; organising, planning and the tears. Andrew's sister goes home to Cambridge until the day of the funeral, and Andrew prepares for his life ahead; now alone.

I called in on them last Wednesday on my way back from the course; they had arrived home from the hospital after some more waiting. I said words, and they listened. Words mean very little at times like that; what else is there. I boil the kettle and make tea. We sit in silence; all around are the reminders of a life soon to end; photos, holiday momentos a chair no longer sat in. It felt like death was in the room.

I took Andrew into Bungay town centre, to the Fleece, and several pints of beer. We talked about the vacation to Vegas, of winning days supporting our team, of nights when all of us from the chicken factory would go to The Ocean Rooms in Gorlestone and let our hair down and shout at the managers whilst leaping around to the latest tunes. That being 20 years ago; or more.That, at least, brought smiles, and triggered memories, good ones for Andrew; and soon after we walked back to what will be his home.

Job done.