Friday 25th October 2013

Monday

Well it is dark, it is also raining. And it is not yet six. That must mean we’re in Denmark. And indeed we are.

I hope I never lose the sense of wonder that comes with being at home at six in the morning and in the office in Esbjerg by one. It really is amazing when you think about it. Jools drops me off at the station at half six, I get my ticket, get on board the train. We glide through the dark to Folkestone, Ashford and are crossing the Medway before it is light enough to pick out any details.

I get out at Stratford, cross to the airport through the old Olympic Park, check in and find that there has been a software failure in security and so we have to queue up right out of the building. Oh man. The queue shortens as earlier flights are called and passengers for those get to jump to the front. By the time I climb the stairs to the security hall I’m still nearly at the back of the queue.

Once I am through security, I find that my usual eatery cannot take cards so I got to a café and grab a coffee and panini and check work mails. Only the company’s system fails to recognise my laptop and freezes me out.

Oh well.

We board the flight, and I am next to a businesswoman who has folders open and complains all the time. I pretend to sleep and so the flight passes slowly. Once in the air, we entered rain clouds and so the ground was hidden until we were just a hundred metres above the Danish countryside on final approach.

Welcome to Denmark, as the rain lashed down.

I got my hire car and set off for Esbjerg. It has been several months since I last made the trip, and it was a real pleasure to pass the familiar landmarks and enter the town on the motorway. Once at the office I went in, always better than just standing outside, I got to meet the old team, now old friends really. And knuckle down to work and wrestle with the issues that are vexing me.

Three hours later I leave for the hotel, and after checking in and reading the Johnny Vegas book for a couple of hours I head to the Irish bar to meet up with some old friends. Both Patrick and the Librarian were there. The Librarian was mouthing off something about mead and how wonderful the Vikings were. I pointed out that the Danes, the offspring of Danes now hunker down in blankets and under patio heaters on the warmest night of the year outside Dronning Louise. The blood is diluted.

So, after just the one pint, I head to Bones for ribs and salad. That went down well.

And so ended another fine Monday in DK.

Tuesday.

So, back to work at the office in Esbjerg. Last time I was here it was summer and endless sunshine, now it’s dark when I get up and still was after breakfast and head to the car for the short drive to the port.

I do a day’s work. I do some training. Or rather re-training, which was the whole point of my trip here this week. I do my duty, tell people how not to do stuff and that’s it. Time for gezome and back to the hotel. Only I arranged to meet Steffen at Christian IX for dinner and then we were to head to the sports bar to watch the barca game.

And we did. Chilli burger, Leffe, a quich walk to the bar, order more Leffe and Hoegaarden and kick back to watch Messi weave his magic.We call it a night at half time and I watch the remainder of the game in my room.

Wednesday.

I have to check out of the Britannia and head to the Scandic in the evening, so I pack and pay the bill, have breakfast, load the car and set off into the darkness of a Danish morning at seven o’clock. Traffic is light, and for the first half an hour I can just about pick up Radio 5 on the car radio. Hearing about traffic jams in Folkestone when driving through the Danish countryside.

There is something especially sad and soul-destroying about dinner in a business hotel. I could have put my coat on and gone to Dronning Louise, Bones or Christian IX. Bust after a day in which I drove to Arhus, did half a day’s work, had lunch with our new CEO and drove back. I was just about shattered. And I would be in bed already were it not for:

The Johnny Vegas book
Champion’s League

So, I had burger and beer down in the lobby, looking at the back of heads of the other diners and wondering if they feel like they have died a little inside too. The food aint bad, but it won’t set the cullenary worl alight, despite the menu having Jamie bloody Oliver’s name all over it. Yes, I am sure he is slaving away in the kitchen cooking something pukka. Like burger and fries. In truth, its like an old friend, in an ever-changing world, something you can rely on. And no matter what Scandic hotel you’re in, it tastes the same.

Anyway. I read. Drank. And ate. Now I’m watching Copenhagen being thrashed in Turkey.

It’s a hobby.

Now, I have a confession: I have rejoined Facebook. I don’t know why, but I did. However, I joined under an assumed name, which I think is fine, and so I can pick who I want to be friends with, as long as they recognise me from my avatar. Some have, most haven’t. It happens. I may ditch it again, but it can be fun. I have told Facebook I live in Esbjerg and that I’m Danish. It doesn’t suspect a thing.

Thursday

And so to the day of meetings. Now, I don’t mind the odd meeting or two, but one lasting eight hours, it’s a bit too much really. In the introduction, my old boss said that he could not speak for four hours straight. Bot Steffen and I burst out laughing as Philip is the one person I know who can speak for that long without a pause. I think he heard us laugh but he chose to ignore it. Which made it even funnier, or course.

I had to break off from the meeting for more meetings. Which was nice. But at least we were provided with lunch and refreshments through the day.

For the evening we reconvened in Bones at just gone six for dinner. I had the usual small plate of ribs. No, honestly, it was all I needed. All washed down with a couple of beers. And then it was off to Paddy Go Easy for the pub quiz. Imagine my surprise when everyone from the department followed me! So, by now we were the life and soul of the party, and finding everything hilarious.

Or at least I was.

We took part in the pub quiz, and managed to romp to an easy win, with me answering most of the questions in truth. Soren said, “I’ve never won anything before!” Bless. We were presented with a huge box of chocolates and a bottle of wine. I said I would take the chocs into the office next morning, and they kindly said I could keep the wine! Yay.



After Philip and I went back to the hotel, Frank, Soren and Steffen went to the sports bar and ended up drinking well into Friday.

Friday.

Oh, the colour of Steffen’s eyes this morning! There is nothing smugger than someone who bailed early whilst still merry and fresh as a daisy in the morning when he sees those with hangovers roll into work an hour late!

And so to work, much to do today, then head to the airport, fly to London and then back home on the train. Phew. What a week its been, much better than expected, really.