Please don't get me wrong, I am a team player. Really. I will do anything to help any one of my colleagues. And, well, it has been a year since we had the last get-together, and so the invites were sent out, and as I was going to be in Denmark anyway. So, I said I'll go.
Skørping lies some 65 miles north of Aarhus, and to get there in time I had to leave at seven, and battle through the rush hour traffic. I'm not kidding, traffic in Aarhus is horrendous. It stretches for miles and miles. Or kilometres and kilometres. It's all very well building all this industry, but you really have to improve the roads, guys!
I head up the motorway, through Randers and past the old headquarter building, now all shut up and with no lights on. What a waste of a good building. Anyway, further north, before the sat nav says to turn off, and I follow a long road through the woods, and through a town that boasted a circus museum, which sounded just creepy.
Out of the trees, across a river valley and up a heather lined valley to the higher ground above: and there was the hotel. a monster of a place in a tiny village. Oh well, looks OK. Outside was one of my colleagues, Soren, so clearly I have the right place.
And as half nine approached, the rest of the department arrived, we had a coffee and got down to the business of the day. Discussing the recent employee survey, what is going to happen with the JV, and then the team event.
We met outside the hotel at three, and waiting for us was a guide who refused to speak English. Hmmm. Anyway, we went for a walk in the woods, through the bare trees until we came to the edge of the escarpment with the valley below. The guide stopped a few ties and babbled away, I made up my own commentary, which mostly involved dragons.
We went down the valley into the valley below, where the team events were to take place. We were split into three groups and then we had to do three events: a wobbly maze thing, a giant jigsaw and a game where the three of us had to move a ball along just using plastic piping.
We were never told which team won, but as I was in the boss' team, I'm pretty sure we would have been crowned champions. We then had to walk back.
My chest infection was making me walk slowly, and I became aware I was holding the others up, so I said I would walk beside the road, which should have been easier, right? Well, easier, but more dangerous as cars sped by inches from me. I thought I could find the way to the hotel back up through the woods. Easy.
So, I turned off the road and up and up, until I came to a very steep section through the woods and up to where the hotel should be. It was by now raining, I was coughing all the while, my legs were aching, and I was pissed off. I struggled up, getting more an more concerned as darkness fell.
And then I reached the top, recognised a gate we had passed through, heck the hotel was even signposted. I walked out of the wood, across a field, and there was one of my colleagues driving out of the hotel, he swung onto the field and come up to me. Nice bloke was out looking for me! But I had reached the hotel sign, that means I got all the way back!
He insisted I get in so he could drive me to the door of the hotel some 50m away.
I walked with as much dignity as I could to my room, and crashed out on the bed. Unknown to me, the rest were in the bar hitting the bottled beers, so when time for dinner arrived they were already half cut. We had a four course meal, with plenty of wne, then back to the bar, where some were tired and emotional than others. As I had to be up at half five the next morning, I had the one porter and headed to bed. The rest carried on drinking.....
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