Words cannot describe how I feel. Well, they can, but they would not be nice. I had my annual assessment, and like the other times in my life wen I know that I done good work, seems like my boss doesn't share that feeling. Nor the feeling from those whom I worked with who supplied input. See, I am average. Bloody average. After being asked to consider my position last July, but both the project director and my line manager, and then going on and exceeding the customer's expectations, and all the other stuff. And I am average. No bad, nor good. Average.
To says I am lacking in motivation now is an under-statement, and so I go from feeling on top of the world to feeling somewhat less than that. We shall see how this pans out I guess.
Other than that, life goes on at Chez Jelltex: Jools leaves for work before seven, I have 2nd breakfast, more coffee, power up the work laptop, radio playing on my computer, and the day passes. I have lunch, of pancakes, because I can and there is no one to tell me I cannot. They are delicious, all covered in sugar and lemon juice, as is the only way to have pancakes.
At four I wrap up work and go for a walk along the lane at the end of our street. It has been some weeks since I walked along here. The truth is in orchid season, everything else, other than football it seems, can go and hang. But, I do like where we live, and to see how and what has grown in the past three weeks or so.
The two fields either side of the path seem to be growing peas or beans: after talking to Jools we have decided they are broad beans, and they seem to go on forever. Each plant has a small clutch of flowers near the stem, shaped like lea flowers: white and red.
At the pig's copse, there are two tiny piglets snuffling about, they are not bothered by me, nor curious of any noise I make to entice them over. And old sow lazes in the warm sunshine in front of the sty.
I walk down the dip, at least to get a view along the shallow valley as it heads down towards Kingsdown. All the fields are covered in buttercups, turning fields of green to yellow; another celebration of Monday's result? Maybe.
I walk back. As the wind was breezy, there were no butterflies about, which was a shame, but there will be other times.
Dinner was dirty food: asparagus and cheese (not in itself dirty, but cooked in butter, so quite dirty), followed by cheeseburgers. Just cheeseburgers. Full of meaty, lamby goodness.
Finally, I sat in front of the TV, going back in time 35 years to watch Top of the Pops: full of Heavy Metal, Two Tone, dodgy UK disco, and Legs and Co prancing around in bikinis. And then Dexys at number one. DEXYS!
Dexys have been in my head for weeks now: the opening of Dance Stance, the brass refrain from Tell Me When my Light Turns Green, or all of The, There my Dear. I tell Jools this, and then Dexys are in her head for the rest of the day too. Best to share.
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