Susie's Fingers

I saw her across the room, and I knew I had to have her.

She had wonderful eyes; one half shut like she was winking at me, roughled hair, but in a cute way.

She lay on the blankets arms and legs spread-eagled.

Did I mention she was naked?

No matter how young i was, I found that appealing.

I asked Mrs Fletcher if I could have her, and she said yes.

So I picked Susie up and tucked her under my arm and put the thumb from my other hand in my mouth and trotted home behind Mum back home.

Susie may have been a doll, and may have bene a boy, but having no brothers or sisters, she became the sister I never had. I took her everwhere, Mum put her in the wash when she bacame grubby, and she shared my bed.

Which is where we pick the story up early one weekday morning.

I lay there listening to Dad getting ready for work, the familar music of the Radio 4 news show beginning at seven. It was the same tune as used on one of my favourite TV shows; but I knew it was the radio.

I lifted Susie up and looked at her hands; her fingers were short and stuumpy, but could be moved. Unlike the rest of her they were some kind of rubber. Lazily I pulled and one finger came off.

Ooops.

Looking for somewhere to put the finger, I put it the first place I cam to.

My nose.

Oh look, another finger. I pulled and that came off.

And it followed the first.

And so on until my little leper doll had no fingers at all. Mum came to wake me and asked mhy I had a funny voice, all blocked up like.

I replied it was because I had Susies fingers up my nose.

There was a pause while Mum digested this piece of information.

I held up the doll to show her.

You have all ten fingers up your nose?

Yes.

Don't sniff.

What?

Don't sniff!!!!!!!

We didn't have a car, ever; so she ran around our neighbours until she found someone who would take me to the A&E.

Riding in a car was fun; something I hardly ever got to do. I thought it was great. I can remember that sunny morning even now. We went past the fire station down past the cemetary right to the hosptial.

I loved it, not only was the car ride great, but I was a celebrity at the A&E dept.

What appears to be wrong young man?

I have Susie's fingers up my nose.

Pardon.

So, Mum explains and she then added, don't sniff for like the millionth time that morning.

The doctor got a mirror and torch and looked. And then he got to longest tweasers I had ever seen and pulled them fingers out one by one.

Phew, no need for the operation after all.

We had to catch the bus back home; no car ride now I was fingerless. And poor Susie went to the great toy store in the sky.

I write this as Mother tries to embarass all my friends with this, so when you meet her now you can tell her you already know.