Friday 6th september 2013

September is a month of anniversaries. I think I shouldn’t look back so much sometimes, but it is hard not to sometimes. On the 17th it will be 23 years since I joined the RAF and so 8 years since I left, as I served exactly 15 years. There was a whole load of stuff that happened between thos dates; two marriages, two divorces, 2 dets to Vegas and one to Italy, 2 trips to Jersey and far too many to Lossiemouth of Leauchars. Both the backsides of the British Isles. But, you know, there were many, many good times, much larking about, much sploob, much beer and many good friends. Also this month, I have my first ever 5th wedding anniversary. First because neither of the first two Mrs Jelltex lasted much beyond three years. Now, whether that says more about them or me, I don’t know.

So, here I am in Denmark. It is Tuesday evening and time to think about dinner. I left Dover on Monday, and it was a glorious day, unbroken sunshine with temperatures expected to reach the mid 20s.

I travelled up to London, crossed to LCY, checked in and made it to the lounge, had breakfast and waited for the flight to be called. We roared into the clear blue skies and headed out over Essex and Suffolk, but soon after Ipswich the cloud rolled in, and I did not see anything until we were about 100m from the ground on final approach. It was pouring with rain and the plane was battered by strong winds. Summer was over in DK!

Just as well I brought my coat just in case!

I drove to Arhus in driving rain. Not fun and I was glad to arrive at the offices and do some work. There seems to be a habit here of driving fast no matter what the conditions; maybe bad driving is a Europe-wide problem too? Anyway, lots of friends in work, so after a few words of greeting I got down to work.

I did have the intention of having something healthy for dinner, but I ended up ordering the burger and fries again. It was good, and I had not eaten that much since Sunday lunch, so I didn’t get to hung up about it. Now, Monday was the last day of the transfer window, so I went back to my room and streamed the radio to get the latest news. I fell asleep sometime around half ten DK time, so missed the final hour and a half, but English clubs spent something like £630m on players this summer, up £130m on the previous record. It’s all rather crazy to be honest. Maybe we can get back to talking about football now that Gareth Bale’s £83m transfer to Real was confirmed on Monday. Just glad it’s over to be honest, as is everyone else. He also is getting £300,000.00 per WEEK wages, which is more than enough for me.

Or anyone really.



It is Wednesday evening, I have just finished another day slaving over a hot keyboard. Phew.

Outside, the long-promised summer weather has failed to appear and it is still grey and drizzling. So, inside the striplights seem to be very bright.

Last night, I went for an early dinner with my ex-boss as I was due to meet an old RAF friend for drinkies later. Philip and I chatted about things to do with work and our hobbies. I had cured tuna (didn’t know it was ill) followed by herb-crusted lamb. It was really rather nice. And so I was waiting at half seven for me old mucker, Shaggy Shag. And so I waited. And waited some more.

At ten past eight I gave up, and checking my mail I saw that he had sent me a message from the foyer of the Scandic Hotel in Randers. Sadly, I was waiting in the foyer of the Scandic in Arhus. These things happen.

I passed the evening by reading a music magazine I bought at the airport. It is the first one I have bought or read since Word closed some 13 months ago. Uncut used to be a good read, but after reading the Clash interview, and looking at the Fleetwood Mac story, I realised I had read or heard it all before. I then got quite angry as yet another version of Rumours has been released. I mean I have already bought two copies of it, why should I buy this 35th anniversary edition? In the review section there is a ‘legacy’ edition or something of Moondance. Now, I like Van the Man as anyone, but do I need a four disc version with up to seven version of the same song on them? Not really.



And then the Clash: Now I love the Clash, and in truth I only have two or three of their albums, and so this vast box set with outakes and live versions, but do I really need anything else than the albums and singles? I already own two Clash compilations; Story of the Clash Vol 1 and Clash on Broadway. One is a double disk and the other is a triple. And I’m sure there has been another version of a best of since Clash on Broadway came out. It really isn’t treating the fans very well, especially on some best-ofs where a single new track would be included. And just under a hundred quid for the multi-disk box set is too much for me, even if I have less than half the stuff included.

Much better to look forward that to be endlessly looking back.

Once upon a time, in a previous life, I was what called ‘a hairy arsed armourer’ in the RAF. We armourers had a reputation, a reputation for hard drinking. And in truth, as much as I like a drink as much as the next armourer, I never had what you could call a great capacity for booze. I go, quite quickly, sometimes very quickly sometimes, from the merry life and, indeed, soul of the party to the ‘God, I’m so drunk I need to go back to my home/hotel room and sleep’

During my RAF days, in truth most evenings/dets/whatever there was little else to do other than go to the local pub and get legless. It made the trip go quickly mostly, and I like the taste of beer, its just that I can’t handle any more than 5 pints. 5th pint gone, and I am thinking of going home. And thinking of my bed.

I mention this now as yesterday, the project team from Sweden are in town for tea and medals. And this involved a trip to somewhere that served a lot of meat and then relocate to a bar for beer. Lots of beer and if Jesper is involved, Danish schnapps would also be involved. The thought of spending all evening downing huge amounts of beer, or 5 beers, and then having to find a taxi to take me to the hotel. So, I avoided the team before they came out of their meeting, and now without a mobile they could not pester me with calls. And so I stayed in my room until half six, at which point I went down for burger and fries and a beer; just the one, and then back in my room. And was in bed by half nine.

And so this morning I was there as those with heavy heads came into the office complaining of thick heads, broken memories and the such. I had some ten hours sleep and felt fine. Oh sumg Jelltex.

And today was cake day. Cake for breakfast, cake because Thursday is, apparently, cake day. Must go and have cake and speak to people you work with so speak to every day. Oh joy. And then this afternoon I was told it was ‘clam cake!’ But I misheard, claim cake. We received a substantial payment from a customer so why not celebrate with a huge cake? Only, it turned out I was all caked out. I went and listened to the speeches and then went back to my desk and ate an apple. And a banana. Healthy me.

I have checked in for the flight tomorrow, and now going down for dinner and a drinky.

Toodle pip.