Monday 16th June 2014

Once the departure gate showed up on the screens I headed for the immigration clearance, along with all the other travellers heading out. This process was not so difficult as entering, and the queues not so long either. I got my passport stamped and I was free, free to enter the departure lounge with its multiple shopping opportunities. All of them pretty much the same, however.

And there was almost no screens on which departure information was being displayed, which meant that nearer departure time I would need to sit near the gate to keep an eye on when we would be allowed on the plane. In the meantime I went into one of the duty free shops to get some gifts for Jools, and on the way out manage to lose my boarding card. An assistant was wandering around holding a found boarding card, I went over and it was mine. Major panic over.

At midday, some two hours before boarding, I thought I would get something to eat, and instead of the stir frys and such I had been eating all week, I thought I would treat myself to a burger. Can’t go wrong with a burger, right? Wrong. It was horrible. However, it would be ten times better than airline food.

I wandered round some more, and then at two, the gate opened so I joined the queue and it was goodbye China.

I guess 90% of the passengers were Chinese, and I had an old Chinese guy next to me, who of course, could not speak English, and hawked greenies through most of the flight, including rinsing out his mouth after lunch and spitting a mouthful of water back in the container. Lovely.

Instead of staring at the inflight display, I thought I would take advantage of the on demand movies, so I selected John Wayne in ‘The Searchers’, followed by the first ‘Star Trek’ reboot with Chris Pine and then ‘Despicable Me 2’ which I had heard so many good things about; it was wonderfully funny. Bottom.

I played the computer at Poker and won, and rounded the flight up with episodes of CSI and NCIS. People still being killed and the good folks working it all out. Yay, good guys!

And here we were circling round southern Essex getting lower, awaiting a landing slot. And down and down we went, I glimpsed green fields out of the side window, meaning it looked like home. And down we went, until, bump, bump, screech! We were home.

Then came the scramble to get off the plane, and I managed to get into an argument with a masked Chinese woman who barged past me as I got my bag down. She ignored by curse at her. I walked off the plane to see her and the rest of her party waiting on the ramp for the rest of her group. Go figure. I walked on. I could see outside, clouds heavy overhead, it looked like rain. Good, we were home.

What I noticed is that I could see the clouds, thing is in China, the pollution was so bad, and visibility so poor that only the vague outlines of clouds could be bseen, and the hint that the sky may be glue in some places. Here, in Albion, it was as clear as a bell. I walked to immigration to find no queue, using my biometric passport I used the ‘e lane’ and was out in baggage reclaim in a few seconds.

I then had to wait 15 minutes for my bag to come round, but hell, I was home on Saturday, and due to travelling with the rotation of the earth, we left China 1t 14:30 and landed in England at 18:00 the same day! And if I could stay awake, I might be able to watch the England game on TV at eleven….

Jools was not waiting, so I went to M&S for a bite to eat and a smoothie, I watched people arrive, meeting their friends or people holding their names on boards. Jools came and we went to the car park, paid the ticket and loaded the car, and vroom, we were off.

At least landing on a Saturday evening, the M25 would be fairly quiet, so we made good time along through Surrey and into Kent, onto the M20 in into Kent, the sun shone occasionally overhead, I was heading home with Jools and so all was well with the world.

We headed into Dover just before nine, seeing the castle from Capel meant I was home. Oddly I did not feel that tired, despite not having slept for 29 hours. Once indoors we have a couple of rolls and me a glass of Old Hoppy Hen followed by a huge cuppa. Lovely.

After showering, I settle down for the England game, sure in the knowledge that with all the will in the world, I would never see the end of the game. England began the game well, passing the ball around with accuracy. My eyes got heavy, and I began to nod. At half eleven, after 30 minutes I admit defeat and head up the wooden hill. All I have to do now is beat the jet lag, and all would be well.