Friday 12th May 2017

First day of holibobs.

I guess it takes time to decompress from work, waking up at the normal time, head full of tasks you think you need to do. And then you remember someone else is going that for the next two weeks. Sadly, poor Jools has to work for another four days, so if I wanted the car, then I would have to drop her off at work. Or the train or bus station, but as I had plans for the six hours she was hard at work, I would be with a friend hard at orchid chasing.

As you do.

So, after coffee and a quick breakfast of fruit, I check my gear that I have the important stuff: camera, battery and memory card, and we're ready to go.

As usual, it's an uneventful drive to Hythe, other than me trying to understand those who speed to work, I would crawl to work, but zoom back home. Anyway, we arrive in Hythe safe and sound, where just outside the factory gate the new flats are nearly completed, a million a pop, and the parking area not bing enough for a Range Rover, judging by the line of their noses sticking out onto the pavement. Its the view of the beach they pay for, not the storage area of the factory I suppose.

Jools gets out, and I wheelspin away, back through town and up the back road way to Cheriton. I have to be in Faversham by half eight to pick up my friend, Mark, so the best way was to go up the Elham Valley road then onto the A2. Another pleasant drive, even through the narrow village streets: it was cloudy but with the promise of sunshine later. Or so I hoped.

Most traffic was going to Canterbury, but I cruise past, just enjoying not working. Faversham is busy with traffic, most on the school run, but I only have to get to the filling station on the edge of town, where Mark will meet me. Gives me the chance to fill up the car and grab a sausage roll for 2nd breakfast.

Mark arrives, and our first port of call was to see the Faversham Monkeys. Faversham is where the MOnkey Orchid hung on, and seeds from here is what seeded PGD, with great results. Sadly, the site is not in a good state, with only half a dozen spikes, but there are also a few Lady too. Anyway, after reaching the site, we climb over the style and up the slope, and in a clearing I see maybe a dozen Lady and a very healthy looking Monkey, very much at home among the trees.

In the paddock there was one more healthy Monkey, and as I got down to snap it, the clouds parted and a beam of sunlight came down and illuminated it for me, giving the colours a proper zing. Elsewhere, there were rosettes, but not much else to see, other than Mark nearly stepped on another Monkey just emerging. So he puts a cage on it to keep the floppy eared bastards (rabbits) off them.

We walk back to the car, hopeful the weather will get better. A short drive away is a chalk bank where helleborines grow in great numbers, and a Single White Helleborine is in bloom, but very much keeping it's lips closed Like always.

We drive on, and with the main point of the day was to search for the Burnt Tips near to Dover, instead of faffing around in the Faversham area, we decided to go over to the coast, and on the way check out a couple of small sites for other orchids.

At Woolage we stop to look for more Bird's Nests; Jools and I cam last week and she found just the one new spike growing. After walking over the green, we enter the wood and Mark is also amazed at the number and size of White Helleborine spikes. And then after some searching we find three Bird's Nests, newly emerged through the leaf litter. I check on the one Jools found, and that is larger, but still no flowers open.

Our next to last stop was at the top of Lydden Down for a look at the Men. In among the wild rosemary, there were dozens of spikes, so nearly half open now, but still a week away from their peak. And for Mark this was the first time he had seen these particular Men, and so after searching for them over a mile in the wrong direction, so now he knows. You know.

Down the hill, we park again, and with dark clouds gathering collect wet weather gear, for those who had it (not me), and bags for camera equipment in case it pours. From the car park it is a steep and steady climb, initially along an ancient track lined with trees and bushes, and now carpeted with dog's eggs, until after about ten minutes we break cover and head due west over open downland, and the path still continued to climb.

At least I could pretend to stop to look at the view when I was really getting my breath back, and resting my poor back too. Through a gate, and still climbing across another paddock, then on a wide track at the very top of the down before the path started to drop down until we came to the reserve.

Burnt Tips are small anthropomorphic shaped orchids, which used to be fairly common in Kent, but now this down was the last known place some four years ago. Mark and I are in possession of good Mk1 orchid yes, but deceiving us was the tiny flower Milkwort, which just happened to be tiny orchid shaped and coloured. Time after time we stopped to stoop and inspect another plant that turned out to be Milkwort.

Two hours we searched, and found no Burnt Tip. We did find dozens of Early Spiders though, which is something. We snap those, before just about midday, we decide that we had searched enough and we walk back up the down. Then down the down. Down into Temple Ewell.

I drop Mark off at Kearsney station,; it was half twelve, and I had at least half an hour to kill as I was to pick Jools up at two. What could I do to pass the time? Hmmm, I wondered about the Late Spider Orchids. These are among the rarest plants in Britain, and grow only in about six spots in East Kent. I could visit the best site, which by taking a slight detour could said to be on the way to Hythe.

I make my way along the road that hugs the edge of the down, overlooking the Channel Tunnel depot, finding the tiny space big enough for one small car. I wonder why I am bothering checking so early in the season, these should be out in a month. Nothing else to do I tell myself.

Along the top of the field, checking the chalk bank for other orchids. I impress myself for finding four tiny spikes of Man Orchids, one partially open. If I can find these I rationalise, then I should find the LSO spikes.

I search for 5 minutes, then finally find a rosette with a spike forming.

Great.

I take a shot of that, and happy enough I tell myself I have time to find more spikes and rosettes. I search the top of the bank and find nothing, I look lower down, and as soon as I started, something catched my eye.

Sitting there, as bold and clear as day is an open spike, with the flower as perfect as it could be, and maybe having been like that all week, or for just an hour. I am so darned happy.

I snap it from a distance, get closer snap again and finally snap it on extreme macro. Perfect. No, perfection was reached when the sun came out and the colours came to life.

I just had time to get back to the car, drive down off the down and into Hythe over the Channel Tunnel and to the factory, arriving 5 minutes early!

Jools comes out, and so now the weekend can start, though I would argue mine began 22 hours earlier. We take the back road back to Folkestone, then up the Alkham Valley road and into Dover. Phew, what a day, six hours of orchid chasing, and nearly every box ticked.

Once home I make a huge brew and break out the Belgian vanilla cookies. Mmmm, cookies.

I review the shots, then begin to post letting folks know about what I had seen. The Jelltex orchid information service!

At half four Jools goes to the chippy, neither of us had eaten since breakfast, and so a huge piece of cod was called for. And she delivered, or brought it back anyhows.

Fish, chips, chip butty and a huge brew. Yum.

Being a Friday there is TOTP, this time from November 1983 and featured The Smiths performing This Charming Man, their first hit. I can remember watching that for the first time when I went out live. And then an hour of Monty, and then bed. Listening to Chelsea winning the Prem as I brush my teeth, already too tired to care.