The Lives of Others

One thing that has become clear over the years since I came online for the first time, is that there are real lives behind the friends and contacts we make. And what they say may not be the whole truth, of course.
I think I have been lucky in that most of the friends I have met either just online or in person, have been honest. I think meeting people through friendships sites helped, it would impossible to keep up the lies for that long, and you go to know their lives, their hopes, their dream. And of course you did the same.

Sadly, over the years, many people I used to write to have either moved on or gave up. When I went to sea my mails became infrequent to be honest, and I think I would have lost interest too. I still write to two people from those early internet days; one in Colorado and another in Portland, Oregon. We swap mails, and one of them now keeps a blog too, which means more contact, and we have re-connected in this way, or that is how I feel.

And through photography, and the website, Flickr, have made friends and met many, many more people. Moving to a new town in a new county, Flickr was a way to find people in the Dover area, and some of these people I met and we are now friends in the real sense of the word.

We tell each other our lives, and through photography, show people that too. It is odd when you meet an online friends for the first time, it's odd, because you know so much about each other, and after getting used to talking face to face, are just like any other set of friends.

Word came last week that a Flickr friend of mine had been quiet, in that he had not been seen for over two weeks. Someone traced him to Facebook and his family through his friends list, and we got word that sadly he had died in his sleep. Word spread through his friends, and then on discussion groups and within a couple of hours many were posting testimonials on boards or on his photostream.

We follow our friends as they travel through life, as they do with us. It is the modern way.

Working in the factory, I spend hours and hours standing next to people, and we talk, the work takes up such a tiny part of our brain, it is a relief. And through these conversations, I realise how modern life has changed. I thought that come the weekend, most would be the same as us, shopping, travel, visit family, maybe a meal in a pub.
One guy, when I asked him what he was doing over one weekend, answered that he was going to London to see his ex-wife and children, if they would see him. His Christmas would be spent in two places, here in Dover and in London, treading on eggshells with his family. And it is his normal life, and he has adapted to it. He is hoping for a permanent job at the box factory so he can get a place of his own again, move out from his parents house and have his children come to visit him.

The picture at the top I took in Green Park. I saw it out of the corner of my eye, raised the camera and snapped. I have no idea what is going on, if the child is theirs or just passing through the scene. If they are a family, I hope they are getting on better than this picture suggests. And I hope the child is happier than he seems.

I guess the world is carrying on the same way it ever has, it just that we know more of it now. It's the modern way.