Friday 30th January 2015

It is half one on Tuesday morning, I am sitting in a room with an angry Dutch lady, and this is work. I say angry, she isn’t really, just frustrated I said no to a request to do with work. But, all is well, and we are working away. Or I am writing this after 19 straight hours of work, and there is probably two more to go before I can climb into bed.

And then switch onto day shift on Wednesday, probably.

Or not.

But such is the life of an international quality expert and playboy.

Sunday.

Despite getting up at six in the morning, the four hours until I had to leave the house flew by, and in that time I packed, had a shower, watched MOTD, had breakfast, editing some shots, wrote a blog entry. And then it was time to leave.

I can now leave from Martin Mill, which gives me the grandest of views as we sweep out of Guston tunnel with all of Dover laid out below, and then we swing round the valley, descending to Buckland Junction and then to Priory. After that it is the usual journey, up to Stratford, the train seems fuller now the new service is going, and the guy behind me broadcast the latest bland pop hits from his phone. He got off at Folkestone West and all was quiet again.

At the airport, the check in machines were not working, so I had to join the queue of the great unwashed, until I spotted an empty check in desk, told her a sob story and she let me check in there, so was up stairs, through security and sitting down for lunch in a few minutes.

Caesar salad I had, there’s healthy. I thought I would try to eat something green as I would probably eat something the opposite at the hotel. Time passed, I ate, drunk a Coke, and soon it was time to head to the gate. At least on a Sunday it is quiet, and once we were all on board we started up, taxied, and were off into the cloudy sky. London faded from view, so I closed my eyes.

When we descended through the clouds over Denmark, a winter wonderland greeted us, white from horizon to horizon. This I was not expecting! Oh well, the drive to Ringkobing would be interesting, especially as the dropped down on final approach, some freezing fog added to the mix of wonderful weather.

As it was somewhere I have visited only once before, I had the sat nav, I loaded my stuff into the Citroen, programmed the sat nav, and off we went, into the Danish night now it was dark, with snow everywhere, but at least the roads were clear.

I made it with little trouble, just glad not to have had an accident. Anyway, I checked in, got the computer out as I had work to do, and no connection. I rebooted. Still no connection. I spoke to the lady on reception, should be no trouble. I ended up wandering the corridors, looking for a hot spot, there was a spare room, and it seemed to have a signal, so I moved there and got down to some work. And listening to the radio.

I got hungry so went to find the restaurant, only to find it closed on Sundays, so I drove into town in search of a place to eat. IN the end it was the Chinese, they were friendly and cheap it turned out. I had Mongolian beef with rice and a coke. £17, or whatever that is in the local money.

And that was Sunday.

Monday.

The plan for the day was to meet at the factory for seven for a kick off meeting, then I would go back to the hotel to sleep as I said I would cover night shift. The night before, I set my alarm for half five, thus allowing me time to faff about, have breakfast and travel to the factory.

Only, I forgot my ‘smart’ phone developed a fault in that it fails to update to the European timezone, and it seems I forgot to change it manually. Therefore, I was awake before the alarm, doing some advanced faffing, when I looked at the clock on my computer, and it said half five. That meant it was half six here. I had 30 minutes to get dressed and drive to the factory, and find the meeting room.

AARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH

I dressed, grabbed my stuff, ran out to the car, started the stat nav hoping that it would find a signal quick so allowing me to drive. It did, so I drove the eight miles to the factory, only then to realise it is a group of about a dozen similar buildings, it was dark and no idea which one I should go to.

AAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH

Again.

I called the client as I could find the host’s details, he was having the same problem, but having been there several times before, know where to be, so I arranged to meet him. I drove over, booked in and so was just on time, and for the first time arrived later than the client.

We had the meeting, then arranged for us on nights to be back for seven, or was it eight or even half past?

I decided to drive to Esbjerg to meet the guys there, back in my car, I programmed the sat nav, outside the rain was falling hard, melting the snow left and to add to the mix, there was mist. An hour and twenty minute drive was a nightmare, but I got there safe, met people, and drove back. Four hours of my life I can’t get back. I arrived back, stressed and still not tired.

So, back in my room, I got down to do some work, answering mails and the such. I tried to sleep. I did really, but my mind was racing with work issues.

Six o’clock came, I met with the rest of the teams for dinner. Work was progressing, so I am Mariska would go in at seven and witness. Which is what happened. We watched folks working for hours on end, checked documents, drank coffee.

Surprisingly, I did not feel sleepy, although for various reasons my back began to play up, felt like I was walking on razor blades, but I got through it, and at half five we headed back to the hotel to brief the day shift, have breakfast and sleep.

That feeling as night shift ends and bed beckons is great.

Tuesday.

After breakfast I went to bed. Slept for seven hours, checked my mails, and as the craziness had already started, I powered up the computer and began work.

Shower, get dressed, meet at six for dinner and receive the update. Next stage in the process had been delayed, we were to be at the factory at ten.

At then we drive to the factory, met the QI, and was told it was further delayed until three at the earliest. She would call us half an hour before the work was to begin. Back at the hotel I find the Chelsea v Liverpool game was on TV, so I settled down to watch that.

I fall asleep at some point, woken at half one to be told be there at now will be four. At half three the phone went, be here in half an hour.

I call Mariska, we meet in the foyer, just enough time for me to grab a coffee before the drive. In the factory we watch people work again, check documents again. Until ten to six when as the shift is ending, we go back to the hotel having done nearly two hours work. Or watching others work.

At the hotel, we meet day shift for breakfast, brief them. And then to bed.

Wednesday.

After some five hours sleep, I wake up to what seemed like hundreds of mails all relating to work, so I quickly wake up, settle down in front of the computer pinging off replies, and soon I was feeling back in control.

At six we meet up to discuss plans for the night ahead, there is just one quality check to be done in the 12 hours shift, at five in the morning. Isn’t that always the way.

It was decided to go to the Chinese I went to on Sunday, Jaap drove in their Merc hire car, just the few minutes down by the harbor in the driving rain. We had soft drinks and selection from the buffet, which was great, and even better when the customer paid!

Back in my hotel room, I put to the TV on to watch the Spurs v Sheffield Utd semi final. All seemed straight forward until Spurs managed to gift Utd two goals in as many minutes, and all got exciting, only for them to score a winner with seconds remaining.

I sleep for a while, woken from my troubled sleep by the alarm at half four. I meet Mariska in the foyer, and we drive to the factory, meet the guys from the QI department, we go in the factory, see the test carried out, looked at the written process. And that is it, the hardest 30 minute shift I have done!

And we were back in time for breakfast at six, and a planning meeting for the day. I can go home early if I can get a flight, and the final stages of the week are playing themselves out.

Do I sleep or not? We shall see.