I have written much about that fact on this day in years gone by, so you could go and look at those for the background of what happened and how my life changed that day.
I thought about Dad much yesterday, about what he has missed these past 20 years. A divorce, another marriage. Another divorce. Another marriage. Me leaving the RAF, several new careers, Norwich relegated, promoted, relegated, relegated, promoted, promoted, relegated, promoted and now probably relegated again. And all the other shot and wonderful stuff that has happened in the world. But most of all I missed just having him around, although we didn't really see eye to eye all the time, I gained an understanding of him since he died.
It did strike me that at some point, he will have been dead longer than alive as a proportion of my life, and that is a scary thing to ponder.Sometimes I wish I could just ask him what I should have done, did I do right? Who knows....
This evening, I will have to speak with Mother, and she will say all the right things, as she always does, but then actions speak louder than words, and her actions were not of a loving wife. Or Mother. But that is the way it is, and the situation we have to live with between us, as we try to avoid subjects that will start the recriminations going back and forth.
But nothing will bring the old fella back, sadly. And life goes on, onwards and upwards.
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