Partygate latest

Alexander Boris de Piffel Johnson's statement for the Privilidges Committee:

"I did not intentionally or recklessly mislead the House on 1 December 2021, 8 December 2021, or on any other date. I would never have dreamed of doing so,"

The liar said.

"The Committee also now appears to be alleging that it was in some way reckless for me to rely on assurances that I received from trusted advisers. That allegation is unprecedented and absurd."

He blustered.

"I was the prime minister of the country, working day and night to manage the government's response to the Covid-19 pandemic. It was self-evidently reasonable for me to rely on assurances that I received from my advisers.

"The suggestion to the contrary would have profound and debilitating implications for the future of debate in the House, and for the ability of ministers to rely on the advice of their officials when answering questions in Parliament."

He said is trying to divert blame for his own actions.

"A suggestion that we would have held events which were "obviously" contrary to the rules and guidance, and allowed those events to be immortalised by the official photographer is implausible," added the wannabe King of the World.

Or, as Russ Jones states it:

There were no parties
- Ok, there were parties but I didn't know
- I knew, but didn't attend any parties
- Yes, I attended, but only cos I was ambushed with cake
- There was no cake, but the parties were unplanned
Yes, we bought a 42 bottle fridge and had a DJ set and hot catered food at the "unplanned" party, but I didn't start it
- Yes, fine, I started it, but didn't know it broke rules
- Ok, fine, I set the rules and explained them on TV, so how was I meant to know them?
I lied a bit, but only cos nobody told me the rules
- No, not even when Sue Gray was investigating me
- Or the police were investigating me
- Or when 126 fines were handed down
- I corrected things as soon as I could
- Which is today
[ Pause ]
- I didn't kill that hooker!