Further mum update

This is fresh off the presses.

I got a call this morning at about ten from Sheila saying Mum had called her stating that she (Mum) was to be discharged from the hospital, and with a list of tasks for poor Sheila to do. This came as a shock to me, as on Monday I had been told by the nurses on her ward there was no talk of discharge.

So I call the hospital, speak to the ward sister, and then the next one up in the chain of command; staff nurse? Anyways, I explain the situation, that Mum needs to have her house assessed, needs a care plan, that she cannot walk to her own bins to take rubbish out.

I'll get a call back I was told.

Mum might be going to be discharged, but not today, and probably not tomorrow. She has to have a blood test and a consultant will make the decision. A care package is in place, and it turns out that her house was assessed yesterday, and a huge toilet seat installed, so Mum does not have to use her arms to pull herself up.

But, it became clear that there was concern in the therapist's words, and she said that Mum really did not push herself too hard. I had to say I have had my issues with her, and in my view she has always embraced disability as her range of movement got less and less. Rather than fighting against age and restricted movement, she bought things to make her life easier; a grabber to pick stuff up from the floor, and so on.

Once Mum leaves hospital, there will be a care package, people will visit three times a day, half an hour each, to dress/undress her, make breakfast and dinner. But once she is out of hospital, it will be up to her to be able to look after herself; there is only so much the hospital and NHS can do. Once out, she will have to deal with her issues, but we know that Mum will call Sheila, or get her neighbours to take her rubbish out, or take her to Asda or Tesco. How long this is sustainable, I don't know. But if she can't shower herself, then the reality is she should not be living alone in that or any house.

No one can force her to change, and she doesn't have to. But any slip into her old ways will have consequences for me and our relationship. I hope she is still in hospital on Friday when we go up, so we can have these words once again before she is out, and the risks she is taking.

In the end, the hospital needs the bed,a nd there is nothing else that can be done, but who will look after her, other than Sheila, her neighbors and us. How quickly things have changes is a shock, but I feel less certain now that even two heart attacks, open heart surgery is enough to make this leopard change her spots.