Mum update

Back in June, after my last visit to Suffolk, I decided the weekly phone calls between her and I would stop, as we really dont say anything.

For these that don't know as to why, one of the main reasons is that she conducted an affair behind my Dad's back. For 21 years. Yes, you read that right. An affair that could have its ow anniversary cards. Such a thing is not done accidentally like an illicit affair after a drunken night out. This was premeditated and done knowingly, and done when Dad was away from home working in London or Southampton.

Done in the family house, in their bed.

And when Dad suspected and they hard arguments, she blamed Dad for being the angry one, and even suggested several times how much better things were when Dad was away. So I grew up thinking Dad was at fault.

Once I learned the truth, after Dad died, I said to Mum that the honest decent thing to do, if she was so unhappy with Dad, to have left rather than live a lie. But life was easy, both were working and earning enough to decorate the house, buy new TVs and hi-fis, pay for two holidays a year, or more. So she stayed on easy street.

It is these lies that hang over our relationship, and whenever there is a difficult question, the easy lie comes out rather than the difficult truth. Have you been walking? Yes. How far? (pause} To the end of the road. I replied, you're only fooling yourself. And it is the lying that gets me everytime, her failing to live up the the low standards she has lived her life through all my life.

We all live with lies or in denial, but hers hurt the two people she should have loved; Dad and me.

It'll be another two months before I call again.