Friday 11th May 2018

I am not sure how much detail to put in this post. Maybe those with a delicate nature, might like to not read on.

This post carries a warning.

I was awoken at three in the morning, by a cat coming into the bedroom and there being a most uncat-like sound. The meow before that was the "I've got something for you kind", but after the noise, there was quiet. I went back to sleep.

We got up in the morning, Scully was fed, went upstairs then took up chasing the blackbird fledgeling she had delivered during the night, as clearly we were not going to eat it.

Needless to say, the chick wasn't too impressed by this, and started to make all sorts of noise, drawing up upstairs to find what in tarnation was going on. We then spent ten minutes trying to catch the poor bird, whose day had started off bad, and now was getting worse. But Jools caught it, and I took it outside, put it in the hedge and hoped it would find it's family.

Back inside I could have nothing to drink, nothing to eat. Just water.

I was going to Ashford hospital for a procedure, and now I had eaten the diet, almost, for three days, I now had to fast.

Just to make matters more complicated, Jools had a hospital appointment, at a different hospital, at a time when I probably would still be in Ashford and she needed to be in Canterbury. In the end I took the car, and hopefully could pick her up once I was done, and she would catch the bus into the city.

I dropped her off in town and she went to catch the bus and do some shopping before her appointment. And I drive to Ashford, in the usual morning rush hour traffic, never good. I wasn't nervous, the stuff I had to drink was worse that what was going to happen that day. Or so I thought.

I drive to the hospital, parked up and walked into the main reception, found where to go so walked to the endoscopy department. I was on the list, they had my files, and was told to sit and wait.

Some ten minutes later, I was called in to complete the paperwork, check details.

She handed by a bundle of clothes: put n the paper pants, to protect you dignity, she said. And the gown and dressing gown.

I was set. The surgeon came in, went over the details again. And I waited some more.

The nurse came to get me, and let me to the theatre, where the three female team was waiting.

Don't get me wrong, they were all nice and friendly, and the anaesthetist talked to me about photography and orchids, but the other two were otherwise engaged with a camera and talking about me.

I could see the screen, and my mind boggled at what I saw. I began to feel uncomfortable, then more so. I was given something to breathe on, this will take away the pain I was told. Breathe deeply. I did.

And in a matter of 15 seconds, I went from being compos mentis to being tipsy, then drunk to nearly passing out. I stopped talking, and my vision changed from looking at the screen, and I was floating in orbit around a planet. It was the most amazing thing I have felt. I stopped breathing through the tube, and I came back to reality.

This went on and off until the consultant asked me to look at the screen; "this is where your appendix is" she said pointing to a hole on the screen. I wasn't that impressed.

But the worse was over, and yet on the way back out, they found a polyp. The camera had a lasso thing and apparently they snared it, pulled tight and it was removed, and then they took that away and bottled it to be analysed. I was away with the fairies at this point, and just wanted it to be over.

And it was. They were very happy, nothing worrying found, and all good.

I was wheeled out to recover, where I re-entered earth's orbit and landed safely. I was allowed to get dressed, taken to an office, asked if all was OK, given leaflets and that was it.

I walked out of the department, back up the stairs making my way to the cafe and ordered the biggest coffee I could and a panini; cheese and jalapeno. I could eat normally again, and it all tasted wonderful.

That all done, I ended the meal off with a Yorkie bar, finished the coffee and walked to the car to drive to Canterbury.

Phew.

By now my feet were almost touching the ground, though I was more tired than I realised. I drove up Stone Street into Canterbury, past the cricket ground and the fans going to attend a match. The approach to the hospital is along leafy suburban streets, not really suited for the only way to one of the main hospitals in the county. But I suppose the residents get used to it.

I park up, and send Jools a message, telling her I had arrived. She came to meet me saying that the appointments were at least 45 minutes behind, so I said I would wait in the car for her.

I sat in the car with the warm sunshine pouring in, I dozed off a few times, but the rest did me well, as by the time Jools was finished, some two hours late, I was feeling refreshed.

She also received the all clear, so all good news!

We go back down Stone Street, as that was the nearest road out of the city, and Canterbury has the worst jams, with 21st century traffic squeezing down 16th century roads in places.

We stop in Stelling at the village shop for supplies; sausage roll, ice cream and milk shakes. Three of the major food groups. And sat on the bench outside in the sunshine, with birds busy in the trees all about.

A short drive away is Park Gate Down, and I felt well enough to have a wander and look for emerging Monkey spikes.

Jools stayed near to the gate, reading, while I went hunting. But as always happens, she found the spikes first, near to the old quarry, seven in all and ready to open in the next few days.

I find more spikes in the second paddock, none showing any signs of opening, at least that day. In the third paddock, the EPOs are still hanging on, but many are shriveling up.

There were about half dozen of Greater Butterfly, all showing spikes also ready to open. And further along still I found the first of the downland Fly, just one open, but the single flower clearly visible from 5m away.

I could not find the single Lady, but then on the way back to the car, I see a new spike, and that was just beginning to open too.

All was good.

One last call, at the top of Lydden Hill to check n the Man. More were partially open now, one even halfway.

It was worth stopping off for. But despite eating twice already that day, I was hungry again, so we go home, first to feed the cats, then for a Sunday roast reprise, warming the leftover beef from Sunday, steaming the rest of the vegetables and making fresh roast potatoes and Yorkshires.

Now that was a meal several days worth waiting for!

And that was it. We tidy up, then slump on the sofa at eight for the return on Monty, by which time we were both pooped, so we tape the new series of The Bridge, to binge watch at a later point.

And that was that, early to bed, with the real start of my holibobs now beginning!