Tuesday 29th May 2018

I had been putting off this day for nearly three weeks now, the moment when I go back to work and face the tsunami of e mails that will be waiting. But even then, before work I get to travel to the airport, fly to Denmark, then drive and find the location of the team building, which in itself would put of the actual start of real work by two further days.

What I really didn’t understand was how unhappy I was about returning to work, and what a bear with a sore arse I was going to be until I got my “work head” back.

Also I have realised that I can quite easily fil my time, all my spare time, with something, anything, leaving me having even less time to do stuff I like to and not have to worry about the daily battles at work.

All of which left me in a stinker of a mood, also not helped by a poor night’s sleep and Scully laying on the bed like a deadweight, meaning I had been awake from four in the morning.

I lay in bed looking at the weal light showing from round the curtains. I thought a cat was sharpening its claws on a carpet, but I realised it was rain on the roof of the car port. It fell harder and harder, and by the time we got up we couldn’t see over the other side of the valley, and still, the rain fell harder and harder.

So a change in clothing meant I have to take my waterproof jacket, and being non-breathable, I was going to be hot.

Jools too me to Martin Mill, I get my £90 ticket to London, then along with others, huddle under the short canopy of the station as the rain continued to hammer down.

The train arrived, already busy even on a half-term Tuesday right after a bank holiday, I get into a seat facing backwards, and despite it being light outside, I soon find myself snoozing gently, opening my eyes as we pulled into Dover and Folkestone. A guy with strong smelling aftershave sits next to me, but for a change that did not trigger an allergy attack, so I can carry on gently breathing and dropping off.

It was still raining in London when I get off at Stratford, but I had lots of time, I wait on the platform until all the other passengers had taken to the escalator to the concourse upstairs. I go to the café and order my usual breakfast then sit and eat, pondering whether to switch the mobile phone on.

I do, but I need to register my new password, I decide to wait until I get to the airport to use the laptop, then find out, again, why I don’t do this as the process for registering for free access is impossible to use, so I instead see a colleague, so we go for 2nd breakfasts in order to fill the time we have to wait for the flight.

The departure board was showing no delays, but yet the car hire people knew the flight was going to be late, so assured me that the car would still be waiting.

We met someone else, who let slip he followed ex-EDL leader than thug in training, Tommy Robinson. I was horrified, and now when I speak to him will know that he is a racist, even if he denies it. He even tried to defend himself, claiming tommy is now a reporter. Yes, a reporter who got himself jailed for 13 months that very weekend for contempt of court in filming defendants going into court.

I digress

The flight is half an hour late, and as I say, a minute spent here is a minute less teambuilding. Yes, that’s how I felt about it.

I sleep through the fleet so pass on 3rd breakfast, miss most of the flight over the sea, to where the clouds parted, and Holland was bathed in warm sunshine.

Denmark was mostly sunny, but we had to fly round a huge storm and then once on the ground we found it not sunny as promised, but cloudy and humid with a hint of rain coming.

I get an Audi off road thing to drive, program the sat nav and set off for the teambuilding location, which was near to Skanderborg, a place I had seen on roadsigns, but never been to.

So via increasingly narrower roads I get nearer and nearer, through the usual Danish countryside, just like any other part of Jutland, or so I thought.

In the last 5km, the road went through woods, up and down into valleys and over low hills. Heck, the sat nav once said we were 120m above sea level, just 40m below the highest point in the country.

I follow the directions to the end of a suburban road, follow signs up a dirt track for a Km, and arrive at a scout camp building. Another colleague was also late and she had called the owner who was coming to pick us up.

It was hot and airless inside, and fairly comfort free, but did have free wifi. So go figure.

A van arrives, and Jesper tells us to get in as the others had begun their first challenge, which we would find out once we arrive.

He takes us through Skanderborg, which is a wonderful place, all houses lining canals and lakes, people are there on holiday, all seeming like a Danish version of the Broads.

But we don’t stop, so we carry on into the woods, dropping us next to a lake where the rest were building a crane out of logs and canoes to lift a box from the lake floor.

We join in so for an hour we tie the logs into a pyramid, brace canoes in pairs and soon are ready to go out onto the lake, Rachel and I don’t have to go out due to lack of lifejackets, so I am made cameraman for the event.

Of course.

After some initial problems, they get together, support the crane on the canoes and paddle out, get the rope from the box, lift I and bring it back to shore. Taking less than two of the three hours given.

It was late afternoon, the air hung heavy between the trees, but instead of finishing for the day, we had another task. Three of us were taken to the mountain, a whole 82m above sea level, where we were given radios and maps, and a task each, whilst other members of the teams had compasses, and we had to direct them to caches and then to our location.

In climbing to the top, we were all hot and sweaty, but also had stirred a cloud of mozzies and bugs that feasted on the three of us for two hours. No pain then, but it would come.

We ploughed on with the task, the evening wearing on and we getting eaten alive. We do complete it, but it was now gone eight, and there was no one preparing dinner, that was something we had to do; light a bbq, prepare meat, veg and then cook. And as our boss decided to cook the meat as a hunk rather than slice it, it took over two hours too cook.

We sat down to eat at half ten, and I made use of the red wine that had filled the box we lifted from the lake.

It itching had begun, and would get worse, much worse in the night.

We were provided thin mattresses and a sleeping bag, and that was it. Good night and tomorrow there would be more.