Expert advice

The person who said in 2016 that "I think you'll find the British people had had enough of experts" is now saying that based on expert advice there is very little risk of children going back to school on June 1st.

Though, Michael Gove won't say what that advice was or who gave it, but we should trust the leading member of Vote Leave's criminally run anti EU campaign.

See what I did there?

Anyone who has been a parent, and I have if only for a short while, will know that any virus out there will be in school and your little darling will bring it home to share. And then pass it round to the family.

But there is little chance of this.

Children in reception classes would be safe behind their desks he said. Children in reception class don't have desks.

Maybe he is expecting the 4 and 5 year olds to exercise Great British common sense upon their return to school and not want to play, hug and so on, keeping that common sense 2m distance.

And what of the teachers? They are not heroes as they don't want to die, or are unwilling to risk their lives for a school year with just 6 weeks to run. Until they have access to the data so they can be sure.

Bastards.

And then the BMA goes and backs this us. Wanting data because they don't believe Gove.

Doctors who agree with Gove are heroes, those who don't and their unions are bastards.

More wankers.

The Government is willing, again, to allow your children to become a biological agent delivery system, and any too happy to risk thousands of teacher's lives. But we glad to know when you're in the IC fighting for your life that Johnson and his girlfriend will stand at the door of Number 10 once a week to clap you.

So, the unified advice and plan is:

Children in the UK will start to return to classes on June 1.

Except those in Hartlepool.

Except those in Liverpool.

Except those in NI.

Except those in Wales.

Excet those in Scotland.

And if Scotland's children do not go back to school, the UK Government is threatening in withdrawing funding for the furlough scheme.

Nice.