In the film, Dorothy travels along the yellow brick road to see the fabled wizard, to see if he would help her get home, and along the way collects a lion, scarecrow and tin man, who all feel they need something that is missing from their lives.
When they get to the Emerald City, they see the wizard as they great and angry figure who shouts at them. But then the curtain passes and it turns out the wonderful wizard was a small man with a mic and a good light rig.
Yesterday, in the rose garden of 10 Downing Street, the wizard allowed the UK press an audience, and in doing so allowed us to look behind the curtain at the self-proclaimed genius.
I won't go over details of what he said and how crazy ate shit bonkers it all was. Because it was.
An exercise in no excuses.
His initial statement was a witness statement with each short paragraph beginning either with a person (i, we, she, an elderly gentleman) or a time (on). Each line matching up with a confirmed sighting by a member of the public. No other petrol or bathroom stops, no further trips from one end of the country. Just confirming the Mirror and Guardian's stories in glorious bonkers detail.
His account even contradicted the PM's statements the previous day that the Cummingses trip to Castle Barnard was inaccurate. It was worse.
In traveling 30 miles to a tourist attraction, to "test his sight" with a short trip to see if he was safe to drive home to London, this is an admission of guilt under the s96 RTA 1988. In addition he also admitted three, at least, material breaches of the COVID-19 lockdown restrictions that he helped write and probably wrote the publicity for.
After the statement he allowed journalists to ask questions. The one question they didn't ask, but should have was, why didn't your wife drive?
If, as he claims, to be the brains of the organisation, and that the Johnson Government cannot function without him, them we are truly screwed. There are those who think his smirk at the end of the conference showed him to be some kind of psycho. Maybe he thinks he got away with lying again?
He really might be no cleverer than you or I?
He knows how to run a campaign; the referendum, Johnson elected as Tory leader and an election. But the actual business of Government, coping with two of the biggest emergencies in post-war UK history? Totally beyond him.
Johnson is all three other main characters from the Wizard of Oz; needing bravery, intelligence and humanity. The UK is Dorothy, just wanting normality.
Just click your heels together three times and things will be normal.
Click.
Click.
Click.
Oh bugger, he's still here.
It could all be smoke and mirrors and he played the whole press pack and country, and he is still laughing even now 14 hours later.
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