Saturday 5th October 2019

When anyone asks if there is anyone else, meaning int he family, I always answer, I am the only child of two only children. I had no brothers or sisters, and neither did either of my parents. So, we had a small family, a small gathering at Christmas and Easter. Just the 6 of us. And as time went on, there was less and less.

Death took both my father and grandfather the same week in April 1996. We had their funerals on consecutive days. Dad's mother dies in 1998 aged 97 and a bit, and Mum's mother died in 2002.

Now Mum is gone. There is no one else.

No blood relations, just some second cousins three times removed, or whatever that means. But then it has always been that way. I mean, the family was always there, but for me there was always my imagination, certainly once I learned to read, and escape into my own worlds, I mean, what need was there of extended families?

Marrying Jools with her bother, sister, cousins, niece and nephew was a bit of a shock at first. A dozen for the first Christmas dinner.

But i got used to it.

And then there was just Mum and myself. I moved to Dover in 2007, and with her cavalier attitude to her health, we just drifted apart. I mean, you can read the accounts of her two previous heart attacks in previous posts. The first resulted in four stints being inserted n about 2011. Then I challenged her to "its either me of the fags". She initially chose the fags, then after the pain of the operation, decided to stop.

But she started again, resulting in the next heart attack in 2017, and which resulted in a bypass and cabbage. She took 6 months to recover, fight infection. But then it was back to her old ways. No, it was worse, as she moved less as she had a small army of carers to help her out, so she did less and less.

And the smoking resumed, though in the last few weeks she was using patches to try to quit again. But too little too late. All in all, she must have given up on 6 occasions, and started again, the last time begging her friend for a drag. And so it went on.

I stopped calling her every week last June as nothing changed, and visited just one more time, last July after a series of falls had meant multiple stays in hospital. I tried to get her to change, not really believing I could. In the end the journey up took seven hours due to traffic and my visit was brief, but it was clear there was going to be no change.

In August she toyed with the idea of going into a home, but backed out at the last minute. I told her the house she wanted to stay in would kill her.

And it did.

And so we are where we are.

Saturday and there was little to do. We lay in bed until seven, then get up to have coffee.

Jools went swimming, then to have a hair cut, or was it the other way round? No idea. But I was home alone until one. I sort through more of Mum's stuff, the last of the bags put away, and now the sorting and scanning or pictures and documents.

And listen to Huey on the radio.

Of course.

I make dinner. For lunch. As Jen was providing "nibbles" in the evening. So, I cook burgers, Jools brings rolls and we have beers. Or cider. Meaning I was battling sleep for most of the afternoon.

And Norwich didn't help matters by having a nightmare of a day, conceding 5 against Villa and only scoring once, in the last minute, to sink into the bottom 3. But, we have 9 injuries to first team members, and down to one natural central defender. Still, gives the moaners something to moan about, I suppose.

We head off to Whitfoeld via the station as I am going to Lowestoft again next week, so needed to get a ticket and see how cheap I could get there.

That done, we go to collect JOhn then drive up the hill to Jen's.

As promised Jen had prepared chicken fingers, pasties and sausage rolls to munch on as we play cars. I make the most of a bottle of wine vanish, whilst John wins big again.

It will be over a month before we play again, due to holidays and courses.

We were home by ten, pooped and ready for our bed.