Mum update

Mum has been out of hospital for four weeks. Meaning she is four weeks through her six weeks free care package.

The clock is very much ticking.

As always she is very careful what she tells us, other than she is walking about and that thinks are "OK".

However, time is running out. If she cannot look after herself in two weeks time, then what will happen then? The time for pussyfooting around has gone. This morning I called Sheila, and said that Mum is fairly depressed. Other than carers she had no visitors over Christmas, as Sheila herself took time off to be with her family. All understandable.

She added that Mum is looking at care homes, or thinking about them anyway. Sheila said that Mum just eats instant oats for breakfast, a microwave meal for lunch and just a roll for dinner.

So, I called Mum.

As I said, the time for treading carefully is long gone, and with care running out, she has to take control. A woman of 73 years, who has robust genes, both her parents lived to be 88. She has maybe 15 years left, but less if she does not change. And that no one can force her to change, nor should they. Changing because you want to please someone is doomed to fail, you have to want to change.

Hope that makes sense.

She could do so much more with her life, but chooses not to. And to be honest,unless she does change, there is nothing I can do to make her. God knows I have been trying to get to change for the best part of twenty years, but I have seen her accepting her limitations and turning into a shrivelled old lady. It doesn't have to be that way.

So we talked about care homes, I told her how expensive Nan found them, and how the care was variable to say the least.

Anyway, Jools called her up this evening, and she says she does not want to go into a home after all. So, who knows? There is no hiding from reality.