Your weekend Brexit update

Today's (Sunday's) edition of the Sunday Express, shouted in banner headlines that the "no deal" flavour of Brexit will cost the EU £500 billion, whereas it would reap a bonus of £650 billion for UK. No sources were named or referenced. Just figures pulled out of thin air made to appear that Project Brexit is not the unmitigated disaster it clearly is, but a heroic triumph.

There is no truth in this at all, and is not just misleading, but a misrepresentation of the truth and of reality. How will they explain the eventual outcome when the time comes? Oh yes, as always, blame the EU. The EU that were just going to roll over because we are Britain and we sent them a jar of Marmite and a quarter of PG Tips. This truly is worthy of an episode of The Thick of It.

THe much trumpeted cabinet reshuffle was something of a damp squib, with only the further exposure of May's lack of power over her own party. But then it has been pointed out, that May's sidelining of bright young talents from positions of relative power was because she fears a leadership challenge and would rather cling on to power by fighting Johnson, Gove at al. So, a PM charging unprepared into the most important negotiations in modern history, put her own position of power before what is good for the country?

Thing is, its not too hard to imagine that being the truth.

Naughty Nigel Farrage has been saying that Brexiteers have been losing the argument over Brexit, that remainers are forcing debate. Only partially true, all we are doing is pointing to reality and asking the Government what they are going to do about it. Of course, if the ultra-Brexiteer has stayed in "frontline" domestic politics by remaining leader of UKIP and leading this fight, rather than retire to front a talk radio show in London instead. But he's still an MEP and will trouser a hefty pension no matter what, but then he has been found guilty of falsely claiming expenses and will have to replay £35,000 to the EU. So is his about turn on a 2nd referendum a pitch to keep the UK in the EU so he could continue to pocket his EU salary? Again, not impossible to imagine that being the reason.

Yesterday, new rules came into force meaning companies could not impose charges onto credit card payments. The PM crowed about that "We" had brought about this money saving initiative. But it was then this was an EU forced change and nothing to do with May or her Government. So, today, her spokesman admitted that the "we" referenced was we meaning the EU28. Bloody undemocratic EU coming over here, saving us money and looking after our rights.

Liam Fox has been to Turkey on his round the world trip to drum up trade deals. Yes, that is Turkey, the same country that the Leave campaign used to frighten the electorate about the 35,000,000 brown muslims having rights to come and live here, opening kebab shops. You really have to admire his brass. Any such trade deal with a country like Turkey would require us to offer that country easier travel and working here; like India is wanting. But that's OK as that is taking back control.

And the UK and Spain have been discussing the future of Gibraltar; no news on what they discussed, but bear in mind 96% of those living there wanted to remain, but will also be forced to the leave the EU with the rest of UK. I'm sure its nothing to worry about, as we have our crack team on the job. Over to you, Boris.

And the Chancellor is still thinking Britain can get some deal that includes financial services, despite being told it is impossible. Maybe by pretending to be stupid, they think the EU will cave in due to pity.

And for those of you still harbouring hope that that nice Mr Corbyn will ride along on Tom Watson saving the country from Brexit by announcing the intention of a future Labour Government to remain in the SM, he is still under the very much mistaken impression that you have to be in the EU to be in the SM, he said it again this morning on the Peston show, but then it could all just be a question of semantics, A single market rather than THE single market. Or he could just be useless. Let's be honest, Corbyn wanted Britain to leave the EU and campaigned on that ticket, the same way that May campaigned to remain. Maybe they should swap jobs?