Meg

Tomorrow, 3rd July would have been Meg's birthday.

Last week was the inquest, though have yet to hear much of the details, though we have a heads up of some of the findings.

Meg, had had quite a life.

She had moved with her first boyfriend to Australia when he got a contract playing Rugby Union. She got pregnant, had an abortion, but he took it badly, and once, when blind drunk, tried to strangle Meg.

Her last boyfriend was a ice bloke, but had substance addiction. Though he was in recovery, she feared a relapse.

She had a new job, that was high pressure and required results. No amount of time spent working was ever enough.

They had bought a house together, after saving for the deposit, but it was a stretch. A huge stretch.

And then there was Julie, her Mum. Not my Julie.

Nothing Meg did was ever good enough, Meg took 11 GCSEs. got 10 A+ passes, and an A, but Julie berated Meg for not doing better(!).

Meg was in therapy, and had talked of suicide, but her therapist didn't think it serious.

On her last day, Meg had a session, then after that drove to near where she and her first partner lived, sat on the platform for about half an hour, before stepping in front of the train.

There are hundreds of pages of notes, much of which isn't relevant, but some is.

Very.

In the end, no one could do much to stop it happening, and no amount of rationalising will bring Meg back. Most people let Meg down, and the person who should have loved her unconditionally, didn't.

Some people didn't let Meg down, but she's gone anyway. The pain will never go away, and her bright smiling face will fade in our memories.

Julie is a truly horrible person, the closest personification of evil, above and beyond my two ex-wives. Someone with so much hate and bile, and so self centered. We will never know if Julie had show Meg love, unconditional love, things would not have ended the same way. But her constant criticism and unrelenting demands to always do better meant that Meg's best was never good enough.

Our lives have a Meg shaped hole in them.