Three years on

26th September 2019 was the day Mum passed away.

So, three years have passed, and, well. I know many people have a great relationship with either or both ther parents, and for those that had those, I do envy you.

Saying that, it made Mum's passing all the more easier to deal with.

I'm sure I mentioned this previously, but the only real change in me or us, is that we paid off the mortgage, which means, in theory, we have more money to spend. And save.

Should be saving, but it seems we're also quite good at spending.

We tried to work out where the money went this month, and then we remembered that we spent a thousand pounds on the new woodburner.

The really sad thing is that, of course, Mum should still be here with us.

But she chose to live her life the way she did, to live off Pringles, shortbread and Benson and Hedges whilst sitting in her armchair for up to 23 hours a day, and although she got to do crosswords, watched soaps and quizes, there was a cost to pay in the end.

There's always a price to pay.

I believed up to the last time I spoke to her that she could still get her life back, though in truth by then it was too late by then.

For many, its not too late to change, we have to just want it. But also, if someone chooses that path, we have to let them go.

Even though it pains us dearly.