Friday 28th May 2021

Why was I driving 70 miles into deepest, darkest west Kent with just a postcode to guide me, and from there just a grid reference.

And in all honesty, I can't say.

I mean, it really is a secret.

But believe me, if I could, I would, and had I found what I was looking for, you would be the firsts to know about it. Probably.

And in good Douglas Adams tradition, let me remove any tension in this post by revealing that I did not find what I was looking for.

Sounds like a song title, I might call Mr Bono and let him know.

So, I was looking for something, in west Kent.

Kent is big, I mean as far as English counties go, that you can travel 70 miles drive for over 70 minutes and not leave it, is remarkable. But then again, its no Texas, or Wyoming. And to get to West Kent meant braving the madness that is the traffic in and around Maidstone.

So, I gave myself 90 minutes, and once Jools had gone to yoga, I put the bird seeds out, put the bins out and loaded the car, punched in the post code into the sat nav, and I was away.

Not much to tell of the trip; it was the Friday before a three day weekend, traffic was pretty heavy, lots of trucks on the M20, though the contraflow is long gone. Above, it was cloudy, but bright with the promise, despite the forecast, of sunshine later. Maybe even quite soon.

I turn off the motorway, and travel west along dual carriageways, round big roundabouts, still very little traffic about. Which was nice.

And then down ever smaller lanes until I came to the village, I turn down a side street, past some nice houses that overlooked fields, at the end I park up and send a text message to my "contact".

He arrives five minutes later, we bump elbows and swap news. What he, or rather his brother had found, was now gone.

Hmmmm.

But he seemed genuine, and who am I to judge?

We walk back to the end of the street, then over the main road, down a lane lined with cow parsley, which looked quite picturesque.

Through a farmyard, then along poorly marked footpaths round the edge of fields, over two ditches until we came to a path that disappeared into some scrub woodland.

Hmmmm.

I had little experience of what we were looking for, but this didn't feel right. Nor did the mud.

But still, who knows?

We walk on and look on either side, there was nothing like what we were looking for.

I do find some related things, which I guess strengthened the case, but of what was supposed to be there just three days previously, even if there had been some clearance, there should have been some remains, something identifiable.

But there was nothing.

We do some more exploring, and find some drier areas, and was delighted to find many dragonflies, rather damselflies, which I try to snap. We both chase a Small Copper, and are further distracted by other more flighty butterflies.

But after two hours, we give up. There should have been something, but there was nothing.

We walk back to the village, and I finish up by saying I'll be back in a few weeks.

I was hot and footsore.

And thirsty, which isn't good.

I had noticed a greasy spoon just before the motorway, so drove there and stopped for brunch, and two drinks. Not enough for sure, but will help.

I eat the sausage and bacon stick as I drove along the motorway, spraying crumbs all over the car, but felt much better.

What to do now> Well, PGD is best avoided at weekends, so I go there to check on the Cheeky Monkeys. Orchids.

Along to Hythe, then up Stone Street. Again. Turning off down narrow lanes and find that half of Kent were at the site, and I get the last remaining parking space left.

I walk up to the gate, then past the old quarry, but the spike that had been on the edge seemed to have vanished.

Sigh.

I do find two spikes a way in, in good condition, almost all out, but the flowering spike had not yet got the roundness it does when the orchid is fully in flower.

I speak to a couple of couples, one lady had left her lens bag near the entrance, so i tell her and her husband goes to pick it up.

I walk through them and to the second then third paddock, only a few more spikes were seen, though I didn't look too hard, most were a week away from opening.

Up along the top path, looking down the slope for Fly Orchids. I look and look and see none. I had gone three quarters to the end of the paddick, and then, just behind some long grass, I saw the familiar shaped spike.

I go down to snap it, and one of the couples came up: what have you seen? she asked excitedly.

Fly Orchid.

Where?

There, pointing at the orchid.

Oh yes.

And there's another. And another.

A bright one over there, I say having got my eye in.

I also show them the Greater Butterflies just about to burst into flower. They were very pleased with what I had shown them.

By the end there were three couples in a group following me as I walked slowly down the slope edging back to the car.

One last call: to Folkestone to check on the Late Spiders.

I cut across country, down yet more narrow lanes until I come out near to Hawkinge on the main road, I turn south to Folkestone before turning off and getting the second and final parking spot on the lane.

No one else was there, but I had seen that someone had climbed over the fence to snap some of the other spikes closely. The fence is not to keep animals out, but photographers and orchidists.

Another sigh.

Jools calls, she was going to be another half hour, so I say I'll go home to have a drink and some crisps and another drink and another drink.

I go back onto the A20, drive to Dover then up to St maggies and home.

The feline welcoming committee was out in force, well Mulder and Scully, so I give them some crunchies. Which I do.

I go to collect Jools from Cath's, we have borrowed her car for the last two weeks so I could go out in our car out every day and Jools could go to work, but now we returned it, so are back down to a single car household once again.

I was too pooped to cook, so instead we had spring rolls and prawn toast and more squash for dinner, as well as two bacon rolls.

After sitting for half an hour, I got up and found my legs has seized up, I walk like an old man, which is what I am getting to, I guess.

I write, take part in the music quiz and I get a second 10th place, so have doubled my points total to a grand total of two now!

EEEK.