Mum update

Over the years, I have told the ongoing story of our fractured relationship, and her battle against her ongoing medical conditions.

Those conditions are a direct result of her life choices, and so, from me, sympathy is in very short supply.

Mum decided shortly after Dad died, to prepare for a life of disability, not pushing herself against the ageing process. Rather embracing it. So that over the years she became able to do less and less.

In 2011, she had her first heart attack, and it was only the prompt action by a friend who found Mum slumped in her chair, bliue, that saved her. She had to have four stints inserted. And afterwards made all sorts of promises to change.

Promises she did not keep. She still sat for 24 hours a day. Smoked. Ate shortbread biscuits. And went out less and less. Friends put her rubbish out, got her shopping, while she carried on.

Two years ago she had another hart attack, much more serious, so she had to have a bypass, and took many months to recover.

The operation should have meant a new chapter in her life, the ability to walk for longer without getting out of breath. She also made promises about stopping smoking and the other BS she comes out with.

May 2019, and nothing changed. She still sits for 23 hours a day in her chair, she hasn't been out of the house in nearly a year, and she has started smoking. And when friends question her about the smoke smell, she lies and says a friend had just left.

She can barely walk now, and she says she has gout. But I think she has an infection, that it is being treated with antibiotics says its not gout. So, that's another lie.

The hospital discharged her before lunch yesterday. We spoke in the afternoon, and confronted her with the facts: diabetes, smoking, not going out, lying.

She has to change, but only wanting to change will make it happen, changing because you want to make someone else happy, or lie to them, won't work. If she doesn't want to change, she doesn't have to, but there will be consequences. The infection on her leg and foot are not helped by the diabetes and smoking, and if she carries on smoking, she will lose her legs in time. My second wife killed herself with diabetes, and this is what happened to her, shortly before going blind and then having a fatal stroke.

Its up to her now. We will not go to visit.

I spoke to Jools last night, and she is so disappointed in Mum, that she again has failed to live up to her own very low standards. Not going to visit is cruel, maybe, but she doesn't deserve us.

I am fed up being the adult in the relationship, I told Mum. Grow up and be the person you used to be.