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When I was posted to Coltishall in the autumn of 2000, I stayed at my Mother's weekends. Mostly it was OK, but the truth of it is, I began to see the way she was living her life, and that she was causing her own heath problems. And that really was the start of our downward spiralling relationship.

In early 2001, I arranged to have her phone line connected to the internet. I joined AOL, and was sent a modem. I connected it up and opened the browser, clicked connect.

And, well, nothing for ages. The modem bleeped and squeaked as it connected until I was online, and with the sign on screen, I was presented with the sum of all human knowledge at my fingertips, and I saw I had no idea what to do.

After searching for Brendan Benson and a few other things, I saw I had an e mail address, so how would anyone know how to write to me? Well, I thought that back in the day there were pen pal clubs and magazines, maybe there was something similar online? There was, and I joined a couple, and wrote to loads of people. So many at first that it was hard to keep track of who was who, where they lived and so on. Many dropped off, were replaced, and so on, until there was probably a dozen or so people I wrote to.

And I am proud to say some I still write to today. And some of those, I have met too! (hello Dawn!)

One of the people I wrote to was Marcy in New Hampshire. I am using her real name here because she appeared in my bogs about my US trip of 2005. We began writing as we had a shared love of history, and Bible history in particular. Yes, you read that correctly.

We wrote, and I began to call.

I won't lie, I was an angry man when I was divorced the second time. I promised myself not to love again, not to trust my heart with someone again. But thanks to time and her kind heart, I learned to love and trust again.

I did visit her on a number of occasions, and for a while it seemed I might go to live over there, and if that had happened my life would have turned out very differently indeed. But, I think it is good we found out quickly things were not going to work out, so we went back to being friends.

I visited New Hampshire all times of the year between 2002 and 2005, staying with Marcy, celebrating fall, Christmas and high summer with her. Sadly, I have not heard from her since about 2008, when I left a blogging site, which I will come to in another post.

But by then, I had made friends with Jason and Cheryl in Arkansas. Mum got jealous of the internet and the friends I was making, so I had to put up an add for her. One of the more sensible friends she got was Linda, and one day she said I should go over and visit next time I went over to the US.

And me being someone who never refuses something free, took her up on the offer. I flew over in the autumn of 2002 or 2003. Jason was Linda's son, and the brother I never had. We were soon firm friends, so next time I went to Arkansas I went to stay with Jason and Cheryl. And they had a friend; Laine.

We got on well enough, but seemed that, like me, had baggage and did not want to really enjoy herself too much, and a misunderstanding over a holiday I went by myself to Italy, meant that we split up, if you can cal what we had as a relationship.

I saw Laine on my last visit to Arkansas in 2005, but it was frosty (on my art), and anyway, I didn't go back, and that's that.

I had written to Jools before I met Laine, and when it seemed that we might be an item, she backed off. But when Laine and I drifted apart, I put up a new ad, and Jools remembered me, and recognised me from the ad I put up on the same e pal site. What can I say?

We wrote and wrote, on and off, nothing major. And then, well, I had made several other friends in the meantime, and once you got to know each other via mail, you called on mobiles, so that set up a relationship. Anyway, one of these ladies lived in London, and had made a big thing about her parents being rich, having a holiday home on Malta and I was welcome to use it. Nice, but not that reason.

That I can't remember her name now shows how little effect this had on me, but anyway, we had decided to meet, and to meet at the Constable Exhibition at the Tate and go on the Eye. Three days before, I got an phone call from someone claiming to be a friend of hers. I had to send something to the Canadian Embassy, and the whole thing stunk of month old fish guts.

I spoke to Jools of this and the fact I had a spare ticket for the exhibition and to ride on the Eye. I'll come Jools said trying not to sound to eager.

So, it was set, she would meet me off the train at Liverpool Street where I was very much the hick from the sticks.

More of that next time, but for now, A blog of my trip to Italy in September 2004.