Sunday 27th January 2019

And each morning we wake up to the reality that the events of the previous few days was not a nightmare, but the new reality.

We go through highs and lows, and bit by bit, we move forward.

Sunday means football, and usually bacon butties. But with the FA cup on this weekend, and much of the highlights available on the BBC website, I am tempted to watch those rather than the late repeat of MOTD. But then it is pouring with rain, not much else to do, so, I faff around, make breakfast of coffee and croissants, and by the time the footy had ended and we had made breakfast disappear, the rain was looking like it was going to stop.

Before getting stuck into the garden the remainder of the pile of shit to be cleared, I thought I would go to visit my friend Gary. But as he was out, I went to see Mike and Jane see how they were doing.

Its not easy. Friday was a nightmare, and Saturday, going up to Meg's flat to get her stuff had been so hard, but it had allowed Mike to do something. There is still her things to go through, sort out, but things are becoming a little clearer, but a long, long way to go.

And then there is the fact that the truth has yet to sink in, that Meg is gone and is not coming back, and there is to be a funeral to arrange and get through. The funeral will make it a reality. And once through that, the job of recovering will begin.

Although nothing will be the same of course.

Back home I make dinner, steak and ale pie again, as we were to renew hostilities in the card wars that evening.

A couple of glasses of red meant I slept though at least half the first game on the radio, waking up in time to go to Jen's, after picking up John.

Meg's boyfriend was there. Poor Clive is in bits, broken as it is possible to be. We hug, he cries, we hug again and he cries again. He is staying with Julie, so we watch what we say. What else can we say? Words seem to be just meaningless, there are no words yet invented to describe these dark days.

He leaves with his best friend, and we play cards, talk about things and tell Jen and John what happened on Saturday.

We played on, snacked on crackers and cheese, and I scooped the final jackpot of the night.

So, Jools and I drive home, getting back dead on ten, as it was a school night.

What a weekend.