Keep it in the fridge, next to the Prime Minister

I swear I am not making this up.

This morning, the Prime Minister was in Leeds, delivering milk.

Seriously.

Later, their first delivery on Johnson's new daily milk round, the lady opened the door to Johnson, a crate of milk and several TV crews, exclaiming surprise that"I didn't know there'd be so many of you!". So much for a unscripted photo op.

Earlier, a camera crew from ITV's Good Morning Britain surprised the PM at the depot, whereupon the PM went to hide at the back of the refrigerated warehouse, whilst his press secretary swore at the reporter.

Yesterday, when a reporter did get near and asked a question on policy, the PM replied, ‘I have been told not to talk policy on the hoof’.

By whom, his Mother? His lover? His other lover?

Earlier he had driven a digger through a wall of polystyrene blocks meant to symbolise his potential new Government breaking the Brexit impasse.

The impasse he himself helped create, and when he was actually at the point of breaking it, call an election instead out of fear of scrutiny or Brexit itself.

So, there we have it, an election campaign where the sitting PM is too frit to be interviewed, take part in debate or hustings, and hides in a fridge rather than be interviewed by his friend Piers Morgan.

Christ on a bike.