Update

It is about ten weeks since Mum passed away.

I realised over the weekend that I wrote in July I thought I would not see her alive again. I was right of course, but I didn't think I would be right so quick.

She should still be alive, but some people in trouble don't want saving. And there's the truth.

I have wonderful friends, and I am asked if I am OK with what has happened.

And I reply that I am fine, really. The person I knew as Mum left the building many years ago, what happened on the 26th September was very sad, sad but avoidable. We knew the day was coming, and we had prepared for it many times over. But it turns out you're not prepared at all.

As in 1996 when my Father and Grandfather died three days apart, people ask, "how did you cope?"

You just do. being busy helps, and I was kept busy, but by sheer luck all things fell into place very quickly, and really by the end of October, all was done, and we now have to wait for the wheels to turn, but in myself, I am good. As is Jools.

Friends me if I am well, and I ask if they are well, and anything we can do to help.

And we can listen. And we do.

And we go on. Slightly damaged. Changed, for sure. But we go on, looking forward, not back. And I find joy in each sunrise, each bird call, each stroke of a cat's head.

Treat each day as if its your last, and have no regrets. As you have wound up here, and its a pretty good place. I am rich in friendship and friends, and I love them all.